Steering Committee Minutes – 2/25/2024
SC Feedback Items:
- Reporting harassment or inappropriate behavior during a meeting
Seven issues have been reported regarding Trish’s behavior during our meetings.
SC Discussion Points:
- Raising and dropping of hands is very difficult and confusing for a host to track and represents an inflated ego that needs work through her program.
- There is an issue with how Trish’s interacts with men in the group. If this was in reverse and a man was interacting with a woman in this way there would be quick and possibly severe consequences. This creates a double standard. One of the below issues was submitted for this very reason.
- Frequent occasions when Trish shares ‘at’ individuals, particularly men. This makes people uncomfortable and adds possible confusion to the newcomer. There is a danger to the newcomer if this is the first interaction in AA they witness.
- It is compelling that all of the complaints needed to be kept anonymous for safety reasons. Two people previously attempted to address Trish’s behavior and have since been repeatedly attacked by her in the chat and during shares. Although Trish has not named them there is an inference of who she is talking about.
- This behavior would not be tolerated by an in-person meeting. Interruptions, addressing people by name while sharing, and other activities that call attention to oneself would be grounds for removal of an in-person meeting.
- We are reminded that our common welfare should come first and personal recovery depends on AA unity. Her actions have caused division in the meeting and are threatening the groups unity. We have information from another online meeting that she has done the very same thing to their meeting and has been banned from that meeting.
- Service members are indicating that service has been made more difficult by this behavior. Fear of backlash and threats is on the mind of service team members when attempting to curb or put limits on her behavior. She represents a danger to the group.
- Many of her shares take on an aspect of rage or hostility. This type of aggressive share is unhealthy for newcomers and for the group as a whole.
- The overall effect of this behavior has sown great division in our group by instigating people to take sides against one another and engage in in-fighting. This fracture is undeniable. Tradition One states the welfare of the group must come first. Without the group none of us can stay sober. If the removal of one member of our group maintains the health of the group as a whole then that is the action that must be taken.
SC Discussion points on having emergency business meeting:
- This issue should be resolved as soon as we can, it has caused great stress and pain to many people and therefore needs resolution.
- At least 24 hours’ notice to the larger group is required to give everyone a chance to make their own scheduling accommodations to attend the meeting.
Motion1: Refer this to the Business Meeting for disciplinary actions. Motion passed 8-1.
Motion2: To call an emergency BM in order to resolve this in a way that creates the least amount of conflict. Motion passed 9-0.
Motion3: To schedule the emergency BM for Monday 4:00pm PST. Motion passed 9-0.
*Seven issues have been reported regarding Trish’s behavior during our meetings.
- Trish has issued threats while sharing. “No one can remove me from this platform.” She shares multiple times an hour for 10-15 min at a time. She has not changed her behavior.
- I have been coming to GUTS every single day for 8.5 months and consider it my homegroup. It has been a saving grace to my recovery however I no longer feel safe for the majority of the meetings. There is a person (Trish) that causes me to feel this way. I don’t share often but when I really ‘need’ to and that has lessened in the last couple of months because of her consistent indirectly directed shares at me and others. Recently I did share and she was on camera staring intently into it, rolling her eyes while I was speaking and physically shaking as if she was disgusted by what I was saying and others witnessed this. Not only is that kind of behavior inappropriate what does that say to others that want to share? How would that make a brand-new newcomer feel? Speaking of newcomers, she minimizes newcomers regularly by making comments that they shouldn’t be listened to because they are “ignorant,” etc. She calls people out. There is a regular member that shares once nightly. Recently and directly after his share she shared and spoke about his program saying “Don’t just come in here, raise your hand, share and then leave.” This is negative cross talk and unacceptable. I was in a meeting this week in which she said “I am under psychiatric care because there are a couple of idiots in here harassing me.” Name calling is not conducive to a healthy meeting nor are these unfounded allegations. We are encouraged to share OUR ESH not to verbally attack. This breathes negative life into the room, causes division and creates an atmosphere that others feed off of. As a host/co-host her domination of the chat feature is dangerous often times creating missed responses to other members that are needing help. Their messages get lost and/or are not responded to in a timely manner. Attendees have reached out to co-hosts asking if she was “loaded” bc she’s sharing AT the room and aggressively. I could go on. I attend other meetings as well and do not see this type of behavior happening and if or when it does there is redirection, muting or removal. I love GUTS. I love these meetings. I love being of service in GUTS as well. However, this is unhealthy and not safe for my recovery. I had a friend come in last night that comes from time to time. They encouraged their sponsor and two sponsees to attend as well. Their sponsor had their hand raised to share and left right after Trish shared sending a text asking if this was an AA meeting or a bitch fest. This was their (their sponsors) first experience with the meeting and they likely won’t come back. How unfortunate. This behavior continues to intensify and needs to stop. I would encourage that we look closely at the safety card and am asking for removal.
- Dear GUTS family,
I have a lot of fear in writing this, but after taking much inventory (and consulting with my sponsor), feel moved to share in hopes that it could benefit the group as a whole.
I’ve been in the rooms of AA since 2005 (currently 5yrs sober), randomly stumbling across GUTS in 2022 while searching for an online meeting. I quickly fell in love with the diverse group’s sweet camaraderie, warm sense of humor and beautiful shares of experience, strength and hope. There were nightly newcomers supported by kind, encouraging old-timers and service members. It became my favorite meeting and, although I didn’t share often, I attended nightly, usually for hours. It felt like a family and I will be eternally grateful to GUTS for playing a huge role in my sobriety for the past 2 years. ❤
Unfortunately, that all started to change a few months ago when a woman named Trish began attending. At first, although often a distraction with her gesturing and messaging, she shared some beautiful gems of experience, strength and hope. Quickly however, her shares began to dominate the meetings (10-15 mins/hour, every hour) and became aggressive, divisive, targeted and devoid of any experience, strength or hope. I became fearful of sharing lest I become her next target and lamented for newcomers because her rants, veiled threats, rambling monologues and incessant chat messages weren’t focused on AA’s message and didn’t resemble the GUTS spirit I came to know and love. I was even more distraught that service members not only allowed it to happen but seemed to encourage it (perhaps due to their own fear of her?).
While it is always critical to put principles before personalities, we can’t do so at the expense of the AA group as a whole. Our primary purpose is very clear – to carry the message to the alcoholic who is still suffering – and unfortunately, with Trish’s toxic disruption, I don’t feel that’s the focus of GUTS meetings anymore. She has hijacked what used to be a safe, loving space so I’ve chosen to attend other marathon meetings instead (interestingly, she is banned from one of them for the very same behavior she exhibited in GUTS).
I wish nothing but the best for Trish as a fellow human and alcoholic but, putting my sobriety first, I can only afford to attend meetings that carry the AA message and protect the group as a whole. I hope that GUTS someday puts measures in place that will bring the meeting back to our primary purpose because I really miss it.
- Cross talk with Trish. Trish has been contacting me in the chat and during the meeting trying to give me her number during the meeting. I don’t know how appropriate this is, personally I think it’s disrespectful and it’s and a Boundary Problem. I Know from experience Boundaries and Respecting people is important. Thank You. I Love this group.
- Trish told a host when she was sharing that she didn’t believe she was worth anything in AA until she heard she had a sponsee in the room. Then she was “ok” by her. Honestly, I’m thinking of leaving guts because of Trish. I’m just exhausted from her. It’s becoming so I have to mute every hour because of her. And I’m tired of all the complaints about her without anything being done. It’s just too much. It really is. I hope we can talk about it and resolve it. But it’s the first time I’ve considered leaving and never coming back. I know I have a choice to leave if it’s best for me. It’s just a shame that one person controls the room like her. And she does whether some want to admit it or not There has to be a way to resolve this somehow, I keep finding out more and more scary things about her. She constantly attacks individual in her shares.
- One of the members (Trish) called the host a “prick” a few nights ago. The host made a joke about it in the chat, saying he thought she called him a “prince”. This is not just something that happens on occasion. She is often saying shocking and rude things. The hosts don’t say anything to her either, which is also upsetting. Is there some way to address this?
- There is a lady (Trish) who attends the GUTS meeting who has been getting away with some inappropriate speech and disrespecting meeting format. She says some terrible things, and I have yet to see anyone hold her accountable. On Feb 14th, I heard her say the following: “If I don’t get to say what I gotta say, it’s gonna be a catastrophe because i’m going to homicide somebody”, and as far as I know, no one said a thing.
*Original Steering Committee Feedback on Trish. Dated 12/26/23 via email.
Steering Committee Feedback
I received a complaint from a long-time member stating they would no longer be attending GUTS due to the meeting being hijacked by one individual.
I did not intend to bring this forward until this complaint, and it is not one person. Love and tolerance is our code and it should be reciprocal. One individual’s participation should not supersede the needs of the group and its unity.
These disruptions can compromise members feeling safe when participating or sharing in the meeting. With the repeated video gesturing, chat comments, reaction posts and crosstalk to members and hosts, it can alienate those who are fearful of the attention their share may illicit.
Our primary purpose includes helping others to achieve sobriety. GUTS is a place for ALL to participate. It’s understood the individual’s shares bring value and address the newcomer, yet they also alienate and command excessive attention.
I’ve proposed some possible remedies or approaches using the Safety card, Tradition 1 and hopefully just common sense. Below are examples of the disruption, resources and possible remedies. Thanks for your attention and consideration.
Complaints
Hijacking, dominating and manipulating meetings
* Time usage
* Final share positioning
* Attention to double dipping
* Excessive Chat entries
* Video gestures
* Reactions feature
* Excessive crosstalk negative and positive in shares, to members and with Hosts
* Aggressive shares about fellow members. “I don’t care about any of you. You guys can gossip and be petty.” “You can’t kick me out, I haven’t done anything wrong!” Accusing others of bias.
* Intimidating and/or endearing hosts to avoid redirection
AA SAFETY CARD
Dealing with Disruptions
While most groups operate with a healthy balance of spontaneity and structure, there are a number of situations that can threaten group unity and challenge the safety of the group and its members. Often this can center on disruptive individuals, those who are confrontational, aggressive, or those who are simply unwilling to put the needs of the group first. Such behavior can hijack the focus of a meeting and frighten members, new and old.
Autonomy and Group Action
Recognizing that safety is an issue of importance to its members, many groups have taken actions to keep distractions and disruptions to a minimum within the context of the group.
Group Safety and Unity
Some groups have their own guidelines or procedures to help keep the meeting safe. AA members can speak to those who are acting inappropriately. Situations can be discussed at business meetings to come to a group conscience about how to handle a situation.
As a last resort, the disruptive member may be asked to stop attending the meeting for a specific period of time. Groups that take this drastic action do it in order to preserve the common welfare of the group and to maintain AA unity.
Keeping the Focus on Our Primary Purpose
It is hoped that our common suffering as alcoholics and our common solution in AA would transcend most issues and curtail negative behaviors. As noted in the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous, “Love and tolerance of others is our code.”
Safety, however, is important to the functioning of the group. By maintaining order and safety in meetings, the group as a whole will benefit and members will be able to focus on recovery from alcoholism and a life of sobriety.
Ultimately, the experience of how these situations are handled can be as varied as our Fellowship. Good judgment and common sense, informed by the Twelve Traditions, seem to provide the best guide.
In all discussions about safety, keep the focus on our primary purpose,
our common welfare, and place principles before personalities.
Tradition One
Each member of AA is but a small part of a great whole. AA must continue to live or most of us will surely die. Hence our “common welfare comes first.” But individual welfare follows close afterward.
- Topic for business meeting agenda:
I am proposing 3 changes to GUTS going forward:
- Have Chat CLOSED from Intros through the 7th. (Most online meetings either don’t have Chat open, or only open last 10 minutes)
2) One Hand per hour, unless it’s a Burning Desire of a Newcomer struggling. (Most online meetings only allow one share per hour) Thank you. 🙏
**(Time Limits (10 mins) per share Suggestion is already in the BM as a tabled issue)
SC Discussion Points:
- For #1 – It was noted that this would present a great deal more work for the hosts and co-hosts. All chats that normally would go out to the meeting will need to be addressed by the service team. This will become unsustainable from a service standpoint.
- For #1 – It was stated that this may be a fear-based solution to correct behavior stemming from the first issue addressed today.
- For#2 – The GC currently does not allow people to share twice in the same meeting. Going forward the hosts will need to enforce this GC.
Resolution: Item#1 has been withdrawn and item#2 can be resolved by the enforcement of current GC. Issue will NOT be sent to the BM.
- Topic for business meeting agenda:
Would like to see a memoriam page dedicated to GUTS members that we have lost. We’ve been going for 3+ years and have lost several brothers & sisters. It would be nice to honor them.
Resolution: Motion to bring to the BM to create a memoriam page. Motion passed 9-0.
- Topic for business meeting agenda:
When the LGBTQIA+ meeting was started, I was asked by the originator of this meeting Mona to participate as a rotating host. Since the inception of the meeting.
There has not been consistency in participation on rotating the host every Sunday for this meeting.
There were 3 host that started in the rotations Mona, Coda and me Jesus. There was a thought from 1 host that it would be nice to maybe change the meeting from 4pm pst to 5:30pm pst.
When that was read by Mona, she did not like it, stepped back immediately as of Tuesday 01/23/2023. I have made efforts to contact the remaining host, and crickets.
Participation in the meeting has diminished over time to a consistent 2-3 folks and one of them is me as the host.
SC Discussion Points:
- Coda may be unaware that hosts are needed since he may be on a service break. We can alert Coda to see if he may want to jump back in to this meeting. We can put up nominations for additional hosts.
- Mona has decided to withdraw from the meeting, so it may be valuable to see if we can find additional hosts. Since she was one of the founders of this meeting it will difficult to sustain this meeting. We need to put some air in this meeting with group outreach in order to keep it going. There is no reason to give up on the meeting, we should keep having it if possible.
- Possible solutions to swap the time for the Chip meeting with the LGBTQIA+. We may need to limit the Chip meeting or stretch it out to occur every 6 months.
Resolution:
Motion: To take this to the BM. Seconded. Motion passed 9-0. Issue will be referred to the BM.
- Reporting harassment or inappropriate behavior during a meeting
The women with Guts meeting need to have 15 minutes after the meeting for fellowship. Not have any male members come in while the meeting is still in progress.
SC Discussion Points:
- It was agreed that this needs to be enforced, and it should be enforced for the men’s meeting as well as all the other sister meetings. Across the board.
- Questions around how someone would get into the meeting without being put in the waiting room.
- Bypassing the waiting room should only be available to the service members who have the permission to open up meetings.
Resolution: It was decided to not refer this to the BM. Sarah-Sky will add verbiage to the Host Script in the Sister Meeting section. The verbiage will state to allow each meeting 15 mins for fellowship and to wrap up.
- Topic for business meeting agenda:
Hello. Cactus scheduler here. More and more host trained folks are putting down their availability as only one hour. Up until now our group conscious has been that hosts are available to host or cohost. There are several people who are putting down their availability as one hour only meaning they are only available for one hour of hosting, and none for co-hosting, and there is one person who refuses to co-host at all. I’m asking the group to clarify if we want people to be available for only hosting or both co-hosting and hosting.
Resolution: SC decided to NOT send to the BM. According to the guidelines the scheduling team has the discretion to set these boundaries as needed. If an individual is taking advantage or is conducting their service in a way that negatively affects the schedule the scheduling team can limit that person or disallow them from only hosting.
- Topic for business meeting agenda:
I feel the need to call the group out a little bit. What is the point of having term limits for service if we immediately vote to bypass them? I don’t think we should be able to make a motion to vote someone into a 3rd term unless no one has been nominated for the position after 72 hours. Otherwise, no one will ever volunteer for the hard jobs, like scheduler. As soon as Julia offered to do the third term no one else was going to step up. Boundaries are healthy and we’ve seen people camp in service before-with unhealthy results. No shade towards Julia at all, all shade aimed at the group. Let’s do better as we know better now. Thank you for your service.
Resolution: SC decided to NOT send to the BM. According to the current GC it is required to allow 72 hours for a person to volunteer or be nominated for an open position due to term limits. SC agreed that this just needs to be reenforced from GC perspective. It was agreed that all had the best of intentions to attempt to fill the position but going forward we will allow for the 72-hour period.